What a week...

I don't have time for a full report so here's a quick recap.

1) Wife's continual pregnancy problems
2) I wake up last Saturday with Bell's Palsy
3) Everybody in my family having a stomach virus
4) Wife probably getting put on bed rest until July
5) Wife possibly being put in the hospital because she's having gallbladder issues on top of her pregnancy difficulties. (She's been having contractions for a month).

Oh and Friday is my birthday which should be about as much fun as a root canal. lol

Gah!

Just found a black lab puppy

Apparently, somebody threw a puppy out at the school and one of the teachers brought her in. I'm taking her home to be a friend for Dobby. She's a cutie. Here is a pic of her!

I'm becoming a man again!

With a boy FINALLY coming to our family in June, I feel like I have to reclaim my manhood. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and daughters but I definitely have become domesticated by doing all these girly things.  So I have decided to create a list of things that I have liked or will like as to best get my son ready for manhood. Manhood isn't defined by just "uber testosterone" things. But those are definitely on the list.

1. Camping- Until two weeks ago, I hadn't been camping with just guys since college. Seriously, there is something just awesome about a bunch of guys in a tent. Okay, that totally didn't sound right. Seriously though, all guys need to know how to rough it. And by rough it, I mean sleeping on my cot in my tent. My back hurts too much for lying on rocks. The heck with that.

2. Fishing- Most little boys want to fish at some point. I fished when I was a kid but that was it. So, I'm buying a fishing rod and getting some practice in so that Garrett isn't embarrassed to call me his old man.

3. UFC- When I was a kid, I watched boxing and wrestling. One was rigged. The other is fake. So UFC is a nice alternative!

4. Working out- I've really let myself go the past few years. I don't run anymore. I don't workout. I definitely need to lose about 20 pounds and I'm hoping to lose 40. I want to get down to 180 before Garrett turns 6 months old. I want to be around for my kids!

5. Building something- We are going to close in our garage and turn it into a new master bedroom for us. I want to help. I'm sure the contractor might charge extra for this but I don't care. I want to frame up the door  at the least. Gotta get practice to building the eventual fort!

6. The yard- My good friend Molly needs to come to Georgia and help me with some yard work. haha My first project is the front flower bed. Oh it doesn't exist. I'm going to make it exist though!

7. Read more Hemingway- I love me some Hemingway. I want my kid to read the short story "The Big Two-Hearted River part 2" and know what it is to be an outdoor man.

8. Get off the computer more- I spend way too much time on the computer. I might just have to delete my Facebook account to get this done. I'm so over it. I need to spend more time doing things around the house (more building) and less killing time.


9. Sports- I played tennis pretty competively for about 6 years in high school and in college (intramurals). Was I the best? Nahh. But it kept me in shape and was fun.

10. Subscribe to Maxim Magazine- A boy needs to see some bikini clad babes from time to time. I am doing this only for him...


I am sure I'll come up with more things later but I'm definitely starting this soon. Especially number 10.

Life is just one chaotic spasm after another!

I hate that I haven't updated this as much as I would like however, life has reared up and smashed me in the face! If you don't know, Bethany is pregnant with a boy! This is our first boy and will add to our brood of three daughters. I am so excited to finally have somebody on "my team."

Unfortunately, this pregnancy has been very hard on Bethany. She was put on bed rest a little over a week ago due to contractions and an overall risk to our little Garrett. She is only 24 weeks pregnant so if he decided to come now, there is a chance he wouldn't make it. Needless to say, we are concerned. Bethany is unable to do much without pain so I am trying my best to watch over our three daughters and keep the house mostly clean.

Topping this off, I am trying to finish my master's degree this semester and driving 1.5 hours each way twice a week is hard. It is doubly hard now that Bethany isn't allowed to pick up our 2 year old Audrey. I worry when I'm away from the house for a few minutes not to mention about 5 hours. I'm pretty much over extending myself but it is what needs to be done. My classes are suffering due to it obviously but I hope I can scrape by. I'm so ready to be done with school.

I'm just hoping and praying that Bethany can get through the next few months and little Garrett Paul can join our Norris clan. Because frankly, I'm tired of playing Barbies. I'm ready for some Star Wars and Transformer toys!

The Interwebs

Have you ever became fearful of something? I did. We lost the internet for a week at our house due to AT&T's stellar customer service. The part that scared me was that the internet has become such an integral part of our lives that I wasn't sure what to do! I couldn't write my blog, watch Netflix movies instantly, finish my classwork, nothing.

So, I'm back online now and frankly I'm ecstatic. I probably could have used that week as a life changing moment but that's not exactly me.

More later.

Let's answer some questions...

1) Why the name "The Bartley Sessions"- Well, my middle name is Bartley. I absolutely hated this name as a child. Way to be unique Mom. You went all normal with Matt and then slapped an old British name in the middle. Now as an adult, I kinda did it. It seems sorta fancy, don't it?  Sessions comes from me having no idea what to call this blog and I was listening to the "Lillywhite Sessions" album bootleg from DMB. It stuck.

2) Family? Well if you are reading this, you most likely know me. If you are a potential stalker, let me clue you in. I'm married to Bethany and have three daughters. My wife is currently "knocked up" (by me, just to be clear) and we're hoping it's a boy because frankly, I can't take any more freakin' estrogen around here.

3) What kind of things will I read about it here?- My family, cigars, Walt Disney World, drinking at WDW, football, stupid people, my problems with religion and politics, your problem with religion and politics, movies, and whatever the hell else I think of.

4) Favorite Beatle? I don't have one. I love em all. I mean John Lennon was a womanizing douche but so would I be if I was that awesome.

5) Favorite TV Shows- LOST, How I Met Your Mother, 24, Spartacus, Man v Food, No Reservations, etc.

6) Craziest place ever? EPCOT parking lot

7)What does number 6 even mean? Perverts ;)

8)Any pets? I hate them both. Dobby the house pug and Snickers the stupid freaking cat.

9)If  you could live one day over and over? Well, for sheer hilariousness, it would be "Drinking around the Monorail" during the F&WF with Molly, Travis, and Joey. The next day I hurt too much.

10 Current favorite Cigar? Casa Blanca Presidente

Cigar smoking 101

I  have only smoked cigarettes once. I never cared for the smell or taste. How then at age 35 did I decide to start smoking cigars? I'm not even sure. My granddad smokes em from time to time. So does this guy:

I think the groundwork was laid by my Father-in-law though. He converted an antique wooden "ice box" into a humidor and that bad boy holds hundreds and hundreds of cigars. He's shared a few of his quality sticks with me (Man that sounds gay in a completely tolerant sort of way). Yet it wasn't until a few months after my last visit with the Colonel that I decided I wanted to be a cigar man. My first purchased cigar was from a convenience store. Okay that thing was nasty. Still I felt that I wanted to continue this pursuit. I went online and order some cigars from bestcigarprices.com. I ordered some Buccaneer Rum Runners.

These guys weren't too expensive and I enjoyed the flavor! They were a mild cigar but it had flavor and no nasty after taste.  After this, I was sold. I asked my wife for cigars and a humidor for Christmas and couldn't wait to get my loot. On Christmas morning, she gave me  a travel humidor and had a cigar genius pick me out about 20 different kinds.

My father-in-law also surprised me with one of his personal desktop humidors which can hold about 100 cigars. Along with a cigar cutter, expensive lighter, and a few other essentials, I was now set to be a cigar man. I just ordered another four or five brands and added them to my humidor so I will be sharing my completely amateur opinions on which cigars I like and don't as the time goes by.

The Bartley Sessions

Welcome to The Bartley Sessions. This will be the place where I ramble on about whatever I feel like. Blogging is perfect for self-absorbed folks, wouldn't you say? Most likely I'm going to complain about things but in some instances I might even offer insight. Consider those days as ones where I decided to drink a bit too much.

Until Later...